WIDGETS

MAKING WIDGETS CAN BE A GOOD THING!!

By Gretchen Hook, Owner, Little Elm Residential Care Home

Are you caring for someone with a cognitive disorder such as dementia, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s-related cognitive issues, ALS-related cognitive problems, or stroke? Are you struggling to keep them busy? Do you feel like you always must entertain them, or maybe

you're feeling guilty because you can't keep them engaged? I am hoping you find comfort in knowing you’re not alone. Thousands of caregivers feel the same way. I hope that you find the following suggestions helpful, not only for yourself but for your loved one as well.

For the Caregiver:

1.      Give yourself a break. Seriously. Take a break. When your loved one is busy or napping, take a break yourself. Sit outside, read a book, watch a show, take a nap. I recommend that you place a monitor around your loved one so you can make sure they are doing well while you take a break.

2.      Hire Home Health for a few hours a week so you can take a break. While your loved one is receiving care, take a walk, go to the store, get a haircut, visit friends or family, attend church, or do whatever you need to do for self-care.

3.      Attend a community group. In Bell County, there are a few groups that help support caregivers and their loved ones. The Dementia Enrichment Center in Belton is one that I recommend reaching out to for support.

4.      Support Groups. Many support groups in the area are great in helping with grief and loss, bereavement, and other issues you may be struggling with. Reach out to local churches, Hospice companies, and therapy offices for help.

5.      Give yourself some grace. This time in your life is not easy, and yes, you will feel overwhelmed, stressed, guilty, and a plethora of other emotions. It’s ok. Rely on your faith, family, friends, or whatever coping mechanism you use to get through difficult times. You’re never alone.

For your loved one:

1.      There are support groups and other community resources available for individuals in the early stages of cognitive decline. If they are struggling themselves, assist them in finding support at places like The Dementia Enrichment Center, or ask their doctor for assistance with various programs.

2.      What did they enjoy in their younger years? Did they enjoy listening to music, watching, or playing ball, going for walks, or taking drives? Help them to “relive” their younger days. Find old movies and music and play them. YouTube has some great old movies and music, old football and baseball games.

3.      Give them laundry to fold or put on hangers. Help them maintain their dexterity while preserving their dignity. What I mean is, do not make them feel like they have to, but rather, make it their idea. Never ask too many questions; rather, ask them to help you. Ask them for their expertise in whatever it is you want them to do. Example: “Mom, you are so good at baking cookies. Can you please help me with the recipe?” Or: “Dad, you are so great at gardening, can you help me plant this in the pot?” Your loved one will feel valued and like they have worth.

4.      Word Find Puzzles for people with cognitive disorders is a great way to keep their cognition intact. There are wonderful websites created just for people with cognitive decline. Try to find puzzles that have large print to assist with vision changes. Large wood puzzles are great as well, so they can hold on to them easily.

5.      Live in their world with them. Remember, you are not lying to them when they believe they are somewhere else, doing something else, or that you are someone else. For example, if mom says, “I think I will drive to the store and get some milk.” Your response may be, “ok, Mom, we will go for a drive a bit later. I’ll find the keys and your purse. Can you help me do something first?” Telling them we will do it later is ok. Sometimes, your loved one may remember that later is now here. It’s ok to say to them that we still have some things to do to get ready. This is just an example.

You’re doing a great job. It’s normal to experience the feelings you're having about caring for your loved one with cognitive decline. Never feel ashamed of those feelings; they are completely normal. My goal for you is to find support, never to feel alone, and to utilize the resources available in our community—they are there to help and normalize your situation.